A year ago I felt God removing all the dreams "I had" for my life. One by one they seemed to fall apart at the seams, people let me down and I just had to let them go. I still had one big bright shining star left in my pocket...a dream that could happen sometime in the future so I quietly kept my eye on this opportunity.
Then opportunity was here. This was my chance...it actually was going to happen. At my fingertips was something I had wanted since 2003. I had wanted and dreamed about this for 8 years. In my young adult life that was a long long time to be dreaming.
What comes after opportunity? Decisions. Sometimes I hate that word because it sounds so final, so adult and always comes with consequences. The biggest shock to me was that I wasn't sure I wanted it anymore. After 8 years of dreaming of it, I wasn't even 80% sure. But this was the dream...right in my hand. I should just take it, right?
I wished that I didn't have to make the choice and it would just take care of itself and I could be the victim and not the decision maker. God gave us free will for many reasons. In this case, he wanted me to turn down my dream to make room for His dream He had for me. His dream is bigger and better than I could even dream or imagine myself.
After much debate, tears shed and many pro/con lists made and remade. I walked away from my dream. This may have been the hardest choice but I knew it was the right choice. God knows that we care about our hopes and dreams. He knows how much it hurts to lose them but he has so much more in store for us. I know that he has plans for me and I am ready and willing to wait and see what those are.
Now that I am fully out of "my dreams," I am on the lookout for a new one. A BIG ONE. The kind that will change the world for the Kingdom of God. I get goosebumps just thinking about it and THAT is the kind of life I want to live...
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
