Leaving a dream...

I believe a good book makes you question who you are and where your life is going. I also believe that when a book asks you questions, you should actually take the time to think about the answers. About 6 months ago I started reading the book, "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" by Lysa Terkeurst. This is a fantastic book that talks about leaving the dream you have behind to make room for the dreams God as for you. All of Lysa's books talk right to my heart.

Page 30 and I had to put it down. I honestly wasn't ready to let go of my dream at that point in time. My dream was so good and so well thought out!! I just KNEW it was going to come together and I thought that God surely had his hand in this current dream.

Over the next few months...I watched my dream slowly fall apart. Jobs disappeared. Plans fell apart. People were not who I thought they were and my heart was broken. Everything I was so sure about was gone. Throughout this time I still felt God's comfort and assurance. "Michelle, I have something better than you could have dreamed, just wait."

I had been looking for Lysa's book over the past few weeks because I felt "ready" to continue reading it. I have begun to feel at peace about leaving that dream...or should I say, it left me. Cleaning out my backseat yesterday, which oddly holds many random missing items, I found the book. I was almost a little nervous to start reading again, last time I read this book I lost my dream. What could be next?

Sometimes, God gives us a little glimpse of what the future holds and let me tell you...I think I am in for a serious adventure. God knows me and my heart better than anyone, so it makes sense that he would prepare a dream for me that will be perfect.

I open the book this morning, page 31, Chapter Title, "God has a plan" I think that is a good sign. :o)

I promise to keep you updated on this "new dream" because I think it will be worth reading about.

Great Verses for this topic:

Ephesians 3 20-21
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask for imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Jeremiah 29 11-13
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Go to www.lysaterkeurst.com to read about her other books. I have heard this women speak and I am on my 3rd book that she has written. She is a true, honest, real, Christian woman and I am a huge fan of her writing and speaking.

the dollar bill offering

Something happened today and I have no way to explain it but I want to try.

First of all, yesterday was an amazing day with my husband. It was the kind of day that made me forget about jobs, paychecks, bills, emptiness, sadness, fear and anxiety. It was the kind of day that you hold your breathe hoping that it will never end. It may have been the best day in the past 2 or 3 years.

I was still on cloud 9 from the day before and church just felt so good today. The women singing sounded beautiful, it was a full house due to baby baptisms and all the great parts were there. One of my favorite songs, "The One Who Saves" was just starting during the offering time. I think it was this song but it was a bit of a blur.

We have been on hard financial times for the past 3 years but right now is the toughest spot we have been in. No matter what is happening, we always gave something at church. Some days it was $5 and some days it was the change in the bottom of my purse. Today was going to be a change kind of day and that thought was in my head when getting in the car. I had never done this before but I asked my husband, "Since we don't have any cash, let's bring in a few quarters" He responded with, "I have a dollar bill" and that was the end of the discussion.

Back to church. The music starts and he pulls out his wallet, takes the $1.00 bill and puts it in my hand. I don't know what happened but I was flooded with emotion. My first thought that ran through my head was "Lord, I would give it all" After that, the tears started flowing. Now, I am not one to cry in church on a regular basis so this was definitely out of the ordinary for me. I didn't even know why I was crying. I have plenty of reasons to cry and worry but this was a different cry. One that I haven't experienced before.

I know my God is faithful and I know He has carried us to this point and will continue to walk with us step by step. These are the only truths that I can get from this weekend..

1) My marriage is full...overflowing, exploding with love for each other and faith in our Lord.
2) God is right here, next to me. He is real and I can feel him.

Here is the song...maybe it will bless you like it did me today

This isn’t what I expected...not even close

It is June, the season of graduations! That was at least a few years ago for me but I find myself still getting a little excited as the buzz is in the air. I can’t help but think back to high school and college graduation and think, “I was CLUELESS!”   but somedays I’d love to go back to that state of dreaming and imagining what life would be like down the road. Since we can’t go back, my next thought is “this isn’t what I expected.” Are you where you thought you would be? Are you still close to those friends that you thought would be there forever? Is having a real job as fulfilling as you dreamed it would be? When I ask these questions my answers are no. Maybe I was naive or just a small town girl with big city dreams but I thought it was supposed to be a bit more glamorous?

As women, we like to plan just about everything. I like to know where I will be, who will be there and what will be happening... and when. This is definitely not the case because the only one who knows our steps is God himself. The older I get the more I am learning to rest of God’s plan for me because I am tired of planning, dreaming and being disappointed. I love the saying that God has 3 answers to prayers....yes, not yet or I have something much better in mind. Aren’t those exciting answers? I may not be where I thought I would be but that doesn’t mean I don’t like where I am. It is our choice as young women to look at our situation threw God’s eyes. We should praise Him for where we are and where we will be! I can plan all I want but His ways are perfect!

Now is when we make the choice to move from disappointment to trusting in the dream God has for you. A dream that you may have not even dreamed because it is WAY better than you would have imagined. Now, are you starting to feel that “graduation” excitement again? Ok, I know there aren’t cash gifts or a big party involved this time but there is so much more. I life of God sized dreams for girls like us. Cue the pomp and circumstance, grab some cake and celebrate!


Ephesians 3 20-21
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

2 Samuel 22:31 
This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

If you want to read more about leaving your dream to pursue God’s dream for you, read What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa Terkeurst  (http://www.lysaterkeurst.com/)