The below post was written before but not published until now. I wrote this during one of the lowest points of my weight loss. I think you will be able to see the desperate state I was in and the lies I was believing and I am here to show that you can feel this way and not give up.
*The following post was written 8 months ago*
I really want to be done...
I wanna quit. There I said it...to someone besides my husband. I am tired. Tired of counting calories. Tired of exercise. Tired of living this lifestyle.
I am having one of THOSE days. I have had these feelings before but they usually only last a day...two at the most. I have felt this way since Friday. I haven't worked out since Thursday and I haven't shoved my face totally but I have eaten more of everything. The calories aren't the thing I am most worried about...it is what is going on in my head that scares me.
I may type this but never publish it. I still feel fat. I still feel like I have a long way to go. I feel that I have worked hard enough and I should just quit while I am ahead and stay this weight. I probably won't ever make it to a "true goal" of looking normal.
I know Satan is going after me. I am planning to do a Bible study at my church about Made to Crave. I am about to tell a lot (hopefully) of women about how this can change your life.
*I hit save and that was it...determined to never publish what I had just wrote*
I remember writing this like it was yesterday. I remember the absolute feeling of wanting to just drop it and give up. You may wonder why I would have saved this and wait to publish it until now...maybe this is where you are at today. I know how it feels....these words were directly from my soul and I meant them.
Everything clicked when I wrote, "I know Satan is going after me" It was a huge moment when I realized that for the first time in my life I was on a one way street to an amazing relationship with my Jesus and Satan was doing everything to get me off that track. As a Christian, if you aren't doing something that would upset Satan...you need to step it up a notch. The closer we get to Jesus the more we are able to change the world for the Kingdom of God.
Can you see the lies I was believing? I bet you have heard them before too. Imagine for a second, that I would have given up. I would have gained the weight back (and more). I would be farther from God than ever before and I never would have had the strength from God to lead 20 women on a life changing journey through Made to Crave.
No wonder Satan was worried! I am one dangerous women fighting for the absolute Glory of God. If you feel this way...Satan is after you too and it is ONLY because God has incredible and amazing plans for you in the very near future.
Please don't give up. You are God's Beloved...believe it. Trust in the Lord and let Him give you His strength to get through this rough patch...let Him take control. What He started in you, He will absolutely finish.
Philippians 1:6 "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"