1 year and 75 pounds...all things are possible

When you ask God "Please help me. I will do whatever you want me to." and really mean it. Crazy things will happen in your life.

On December 30th, my life changed. God spoke to me a in a way I had never felt before. I was at the bottom of the bottom regarding my health and my weight. I put on a good show to my friends, family, co-workers and even to my husband, but God knew the pain of my heart.

I started my weight loss journey on December 30, 2010. Most people would ask why I just didn't wait till January 1st and enjoy a few last days of "freedom." The life I was living wasn't freedom, it was prison. I contemplated having a "last meal" before this drastic lifestyle change....but I have had 100 "last meals" before and where did that get me? I would always say, "I will start on Monday" or "I won't eat this for a long time, so I should enjoy it one last time" and so on. No more last meals. No more excuses.  I called it a "plan" because the word "diet" had never worked before and this was more than food choices this was a whole "plan." This time it felt real...scary and real but this time I had something new in my weapons against this issue....Jesus.

"I'm not on a diet. I'm on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness." Lysa Terkeurst

Once again, I want to thank Lysa Terkeurst for having the courage to write the book Made to Crave. God used this book to change me in so many incredible ways.

When I look back at the past year...I don't feel that I "missed out" because I didn't have cake at that birthday party. I am not sad that I had a salad when my friends had pizza. I could care less that I special ordered almost every meal I ate at a restaurant. Even thinking about holidays and birthdays...my food choices did NOT dictate my ability to enjoy those moments of my life.

I could list thousands of great memories this past year that DID impact my enjoyment. My grandma almost in tears when she saw me at 50 pounds lost. Shopping in the "regular women's" section at any store. Riding a roller coaster on my birthday...and fitting in the seat. Running with my husband and seeing pure joy in his face. Growing closer to God every single day, regardless of what the scale says.

The best thing I remember is the countless times I was asked, "How did you do it?" and replying "I read a book that God used to change my life." I have had more chances to tell people about God through my weight loss than I could have ever imagined.

If you feel the way I did in December of 2010...2012 is the year for you. God is just waiting with open arms to walk you through this whole process. It is not possible without Him. Take the leap...
In Progress

Matthew 19:26 ...Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Have you seen a miracle?

Miracle. That word alone brings mystery, excitement, skepticism and so much more.  How would you define a miracle?

Dictionary.com gives this as a definition of a Miracle

1. An effect or extra ordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.

2. Such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God

I could ask a hundred questions about miracles but unless you believe in them and have seen one yourself, it is very difficult to understand. I would like to talk to you about a few different kinds of miracles I've experienced and I hope you can see the many ways God can make miracles happen in your life.

The Tiny Miracle
I use the word "tiny" because God is the God of the universe. Imagine looking over the whole universe but still taking the time and attention to make a tiny miracle for one girl in Minnesota. I love that thought. Tiny miracles are little notes or messages that God sends to me when I exactly need it. A song on the radio, a text message from an unlikely friend, a beautiful sunset, a random act of kindness or a smile from a stranger.

The "Assist" Miracle
In basketball the person who passes the ball to the one who actually makes the shot to get points, gets an "assist." God uses people around us to help his miracles happen. God is so good that these miracles are double points because the person with the "assist" also gets blessed in the process. There have been more than one occasion when a person, with little to no knowledge about my life circumstance, would bring me a check in a time of great financial need. Nothing is more humbling then having someone give you money with the basic reason of"God told me to do this today." I was in complete shock when someone I hadn't seen in many years, a summer camp friend from high school, said she was praying one night and my name popped in her head. God wanted her to send me a blessing. What a thoughtful God we have!

The "I can't explain it" Miracle 
This is the type of miracle that if you tell a non-believer, they just stand there with their mouth wide open and total shock on their face. Then they start with the questions....How did they know? You didn't say anything? But what changed? Then what happened? Are you sure they didn't know?

Just when you get them reeled in...NOW is when you shine the spot light on the One who makes it all happen. As believers, we must give God the full glory when he does big things in our lives. We can't be afraid to say, "God made this happen because He can do anything." Anything is possible through those who believe in Him. Sometimes we pray for things to happen for days, months and years. This past month was just another month of the same payer but for some reason God decided now was the time and he was going to do it in a way that would only glorify Him.

When a miracle of this magnitude happens in your life, it shakes you to the core. Have you ever seen those people dancing in the isle at a church, literally dancing? Now, I get it. I totally get it. I wanted to dance for my Lord after what He had done. I couldn't contain myself and my thankfulness. My hands couldn't be raised high enough. My song couldn't be loud enough. I was ready to be a total freak for God and I hope I never stop feeling that way.

After something like this, you KNOW...not just think...you KNOW that God can do anything if it is part of His will for His people who love him.

Even months later, I find myself remembering the miracles God has done in my life and I can't help by smile and praise Him.....and keep an eye out for the next miracle He will do.


I have fallen off the wagon....and then rolled down the hill and hitched a ride to the nearest pizza place.

I need a reboot. A total start over.

Since I started my weight loss journey I have had a few minor set backs. This is completely normal and expected. Lysa TerKeurst says, "A set back is a set up for a come back." Previously, when I have fallen off my plan, I would just let it go and start again the next day. Not this time...I want you to know that I am not talking about a bad day where I had 2 pieces of pizza instead of 1. This was not a case of eating a piece of chocolate or treating myself to a fancy coffee drink. I just let it all go. Here is my public confession, as ugly as it is. I know someone out there reading it will totally understand what I am going through.

I knew last week that I was getting the "I want to stop losing weight and have a normal life again" ideas in my head. They were stronger than ever and this was a red flag. I had a minor tantrum (these are normal when you stop eating your emotions) and got myself back together by mid-week. Then we went away for the weekend to the type of place where I would little to no choice in my meals. Proceed with caution. It started so little and innocent..I'll have some popcorn, a small cookie....and so on.  I knew I was going down and I just let it happen. Cookies, chips, beef jerky, chocolate, pizza, hash browns, full fat coffee creamer, full fat salad dressing...to most of you these are just normal things but to me it was like a feeding frenzy. This was the beginning of a long 5 days.

I want to make it clear that this isn't about calories, grams of fat or pounds..this is about the mental control that food has over me. It is an addiction. I went on a food binge.

By day 4...anything and everything was game. I ate foods that I had been thinking about eating for months. It was almost like if I just ate it, I could get over it and feel better but I felt worse afterwards. My body totally revolted against what I was doing and I got really sick. This didn't deter me though...it wasn't till last night when I realized how much I had gained in only 5 days, how horrible I felt emotionally, spiritually and physically, how distant I felt from God...I told my husband that I needed an intervention. Enter today...start over and REBOOT!

I am so incredibly thankful that God's mercy is new every single morning. His strength is perfect in my weakness and I. am. so. weak.

There it is...the rotten truth. I could consider this a BIG set back...but then I realized that the past 5 days just confirm how important this journey is and how much farther I do have to go. I want to get to a place where food doesn't control me...only my Jesus can get me to that point. Even though I have lost 72 pounds...I still need Jesus every day to keep me close to Him and keep me on track. For when I am close to Him and living a healthy life..that is when I feel fulfilled, peaceful and happy.

"Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23 


This wasn't in the brochure...

For as long as I can remember, my weight has been an issue. Since December 30th I have lost 70 pounds. Most days I still cannot believe that this has even happened but it is real. All of the credit goes to the Lord who literally led me through every single difficult step to get here. This was more than eating healthy and exercising, this was about changing the way I think, feel and act towards food. I also have to thank the amazing Lysa Terkeurst and her book Made to Crave. This book is life changing. There are a few things that weren't in the book or in any weight loss brochure that I have ever embarrassingly flipped through. These are the things that no one tells you about weight loss...

1) It is harder than anyone would ever admit.
Honesty is something I have always wanted to have as my top priority, so here it is. Truly changing the way to feel and think about food is extremely hard. There are nights when I would literally cry, because of what I wanted to eat and the struggle that was happening within myself. I cried because of where I had let myself get to and how much food had controlled my life. I cried because of the crutch that I had created and let food be in my life. I cried at how weak I had let myself become when it came to food. I mostly cried because I was dealing with issues that I had soothed by eating among many other things. It is an addiction that you have to break physically and mentally. It gets easier but it never goes away.

2)At my heaviest, I thought I looked 30 pounds lighter than I really was
At my 30 pound mark I was so excited because I imagined how incredibly different I would look. I did look different but not as drastic as I had imaged. I looked in the mirror one day (minus 30 pds) and thought, "this is how I always thought I looked." I came across my "before" picture recently....let me tell you that I was shocked. I did NOT even recognize that person. I'll write more about this in another blog and even post the picture if I can pull together the guts it would take to show the world how bad it was.

3) People don't really want to hear your answer of how you lost the weight
I get asked all the time, "How did you do it?" They want you to say, " I ate a magic pill, clicked my heels three times and then it disappeared! All for only $9.99!!!" The answer they get is very different. My answer consists of this, "I read a book that changed my life called Made to Crave which talks about craving God more than food.." At that point I get the "look" and you may know what this means...the you might be a little crazy look. But they keep listening because whatever crazy thing I was doing was working! The next thing you say seems so typical but it is the truth. I ate less and better foods and went for walks almost every day. They don't want to hear that either but it is the truth people.

 4. It is 100% worth the fight
People who truly change their lives do it because the outcome is totally worth all the pain and tears. I have many many more good days than hard ones now. Situations that would really upset me before and now easier to take. The way you feel inside your own body is with you every second of everyday and then that is significantly better..EVERYTHING in life is better. Here is just a few things that I never knew how much I missed and loved before losing my weight...
-Crossing my legs when I sit
-Climbing stairs without having to catch my breathe at the top
-Shopping at the "regular" stores
-Feeling like myself...really like the outside matched what is on the inside

I want to make it clear that I have days that I stray and struggle. The difference is that I know I am straying and I know that tomorrow I will get back on track and continue this journey. I still have a while to go but I know I can get there.

I really feel that God wants me to use this journey to reach other women who struggled like I did. Women who woke up one day and looked at themselves with disbelief and shame of where they have ended up. I want to show them the unbelievable Grace and strength that God can give them to conquer this all.

When we clear our lives of distractions and unhealthy obsessions, we will find ourselves closer to God than ever before. Now THAT is the biggest reward of this whole process.

A Stand Against Calorie Peer Pressure

Whenever I heard stories of great weight loss, there always seemed be part of the story missing. After losing 67 pounds, I am starting to get the "Behind the Scenes" look at the weight loss journey. I could say a lot about this topic but here is just one issue that people don't usually talk about...but I can't hold it in any longer.

Calorie Peer Pressure
Believe it or not, I have experienced peer pressure to eat! I thought we had moved past peer pressure once we left high school and college! It is like people are uncomfortable with my food options so they push me into eating what they want to make themselves feel better. I want to make it clear that people around me can eat whatever their heart desires, I could care less what you put in your mouth but don't force it into mine.

They will say things like, "Oh come on Michelle, live a little" or "You have to give yourself a break now and then" or "It is only one little piece of cheesecake, it won't hurt you"

Here are my sassy responses that I may never say to their faces:

"Oh come on Michelle, live a little"
I AM LIVING. What I was doing before was killing me slowly. It takes me so much work and determination and self control to lose just a few pounds. Even though I am more than able to eat whatever I want, I don't want what you are trying to pressure me into eating. I am now making thoughtful choices of what I put in my body. It is hard enough to make the right choices while battling the voices in my own head, I don't need yours chiming in too.

"You have to give yourself a break now and then"
That is one of many ways I got myself to my highest weight. Telling myself I deserved this type of food...that I work really hard and I should give myself a treat. I do give myself a "break" and eat something special but I plan for it! It isn't gonna be that greasy potato pancake that you are pushing on my tray! It is going to be something decadent and fresh and delicious.

"It is only a little piece of cheesecake, it won't hurt you"
True, it won't physically injure me but you wouldn't give a shot of vodka to an alcoholic? I know that this may seem a little extreme but whether overweight people want to admit it or not, we have an addiction to food. I don't need people trying to get me off the path that has brought me 67 pounds lighter!! I need people that applaud my difficult choices and walk along side me. It is so easy to get off track and when that happens, it is exhausting to get back on track. I would prefer to just stay where I am at..so no thanks, I don't need the cheesecake.

This is not a rant to satisfy the crabby girl in me...this is to inform those of you, who never struggled with weight in your life, that are around people making positive changes for their lives. Losing weight and changing your lifestyle is so difficult...harder than most people would admit...so be a part of their highway to a better life, not a person trying to get them to exit at the next McDonald's.

I know most of my posts talk about my spiritual journey but the journey of weight loss is something that I think too many women can connect with and it is the reality of my life right now. The Lord leads me through every single step and every pound lost and gained. HE is the only reason I have made it this far and I give all the glory to Him. My weight loss journey IS a spiritual journey..but I'll talk more about that later. 

Thank you for reading, Michelle 

Letting go of what you want...to make room for what He wants

There are things we want in our lives...that we have wanted for a long time. This could be a job, a house, a new car and goal weight. Some of us never get the chance to realize these dreams but some of us get so close it hurts.

A year ago I felt God removing all the dreams "I had" for my life. One by one they seemed to fall apart at the seams, people let me down and I just had to let them go. I still had one big bright shining star left in my pocket...a dream that could happen sometime in the future so I quietly kept my eye on this opportunity.

Then opportunity was here. This was my chance...it actually was going to happen. At my fingertips was something I had wanted since 2003. I had wanted and dreamed about this for 8 years. In my young adult life that was a long long time to be dreaming.

What comes after opportunity? Decisions. Sometimes I hate that word because it sounds so final, so adult and always comes with consequences. The biggest shock to me was that I wasn't sure I wanted it anymore. After 8 years of dreaming of it, I wasn't even 80% sure. But this was the dream...right in my hand. I should just take it, right?

I wished that I didn't have to make the choice and it would just take care of itself and I could be the victim and not the decision maker. God gave us free will for many reasons. In this case, he wanted me to turn down my dream to make room for His dream He had for me. His dream is bigger and better than I could even dream or imagine myself.

After much debate, tears shed and many pro/con lists made and remade. I walked away from my dream. This may have been the hardest choice but I knew it was the right choice. God knows that we care about our hopes and dreams. He knows how much it hurts to lose them but he has so much more in store for us. I know that he has plans for me and I am ready and willing to wait and see what those are.

Now that I am fully out of "my dreams," I am on the lookout for a new one. A BIG ONE. The kind that will change the world for the Kingdom of God. I get goosebumps just thinking about it and THAT is the kind of life I want to live...

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I woke up with an anxious heart...

This morning, before I even opened my eyes, I was worrying. What a horrible way to wake up and start your day. My mind was racing with all the same troubles I had yesterday. God commands us to not be anxious so I felt guilty for worrying and being anxious about my life. I just started a new devotional (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young) and this is what it said this morning,

 "When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human {...} Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you."

Before reading, before doing anything but making coffee, I actually went online to Craig's List to look for another job. Now thinking about it...on a Sunday morning, that was the first thing I choose to do :o( Anxiety is a poison that grows inside our hearts till it runs out of room and then is projected on the people that we love. I like to have control over my life, my career and my finances but the Lord is slowly weaning me off of these items and causing me to solely depend on him. It is painful. It is scary but I am thankful he is taking the time to work on me.

The final part of my devotional for today was what really got to me.

"Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in My Presence. Then you will be able to hear Me bestowing resurrection blessing: Peace be with you."

Slow down...this is difficult for me to do physically and almost impossible to do mentally. But if I want to hear the Lord, that is what I need to do. A "resurrection blessing" sounds amazing and peace is something I don't think I may have felt yet during my adult life.

I read in the Bible about after Jesus was resurrected, He went to His people and said, "peace be with you" There He was...their Jesus...back from the dead and standing right in front of them. There was absolutely no doubt in their minds who He was and what amazing peace that would bring to someone.

Tomorrow is August 1st. Most of you have no meaning attached but tomorrow the Lord will be with us as we get to zero. Zero in the bank account. Zero direction for big choices ahead. Zero back-up plans. Zero...the number of dreams that I have left for my life. All the "plans" I had made are now back to ground zero....to make way for the dream God has for us.

I will fight all my "humanness" and try not be anxious, not be worried and not be scared. For my Lord is with me and is planning a way for me that is greater than I could ever imagine.

One year without a drink...

It has been one year since I have had an alcoholic drink. I am going to let that set it for a second. An entire year without a casual beer, glass of wine with dinner or champagne on New Years Eve. This choice was about surveying my life and making changes that would bring me closer to Christ. Here is the story about why I made the choice to not drink.

A year ago I went to a conference for Christian women who want to be writers, speakers and leaders in ministry. Go to www.shespeaksconference.com  to learn more about this conference. While I was there, I felt like this was where I was always supposed to be! It felt like home but there was an elephant in the room. It became very clear to me that I was using things in my life to replace what I should have been getting from God. Feelings of love, comfort, hope and happiness.

Liquor was just one of the things I was using to "get life" from. When I say "get life" I mean that when I was feeling something uncomfortable, I would have a glass of wine and feel better. When I was angry, I would have a drink. When I was sad, I would have a drink. When I wanted to be carefree and forget our troubles: I would have a drink. (You can see how I was heading in a dangerous direction)

It was usually only one drink, so getting drunk wasn't the after effect. It was a mental dependency on it that I saw to be an issue.

On the flight home from the conference I promised to myself that I wanted to feel that close to God as much as possible which means eliminating the things I put in his place. All the crutches that I used to make it through this life, alcohol being one of them. I got home that night from the conference, sat down with my husband, apologized and shared a lot of things I had been holding onto for a long time. This was a turning point in our marriage. I told him that I wasn't going to drink for a while....even though he did not fully understand he was supportive.

It wasn't even a week when the feelings crept in...the feelings that would usually trigger me wanted a drink. NOW I was conscious of my decisions and that was really want this was about. Instead of going for a drink and just feeling better, I prayed to get through what I was feeling. I learned to lean on my faith and not on anything else. I learned a lot over the past year.

I honestly never thought I would go an entire year but I blinked and it happened. There have only been a few times in the past year when I really wanted a drink but didn't. Most of the time it wasn't a big deal. Now that it has been a year I wonder if I should start casually having a drink. I am still not sure and I guess I don't need to know either.

What I have been amazed by is the response when people hear that I haven't had a drink in a year. They always ask "why?" and my challenge has been to tell them the truth and shine God's light. I gave something up that was giving me life so I was forced to get it from the only one who can give life. It doesn't matter if it is a drink, smoking a cigarette, eating a candy bar or buying a new pair of shoes. If you are looking for emotional satisfaction from any item in this world, you are not letting God give you what he can offer.

This is not a Public Service Announcement but more of an awareness. Think about what you do, why you do it and what you get from it. Your spiritual health depends on it.

I am going through this same process but with food as well. Currently I have lost 64 pounds...when I hit 75 pounds I will share my story about that incredible journey.

Listen to this music video by Jeremy Camp "Empty Me" 

Strength of God

When I read about the strength of God I think of a mighty thunderstorm and rolling ocean waves. I know that this isn't always the case. As humans, any and all of our strength comes from God. There have only been a handful of times that I have needed and asked for the strength of God and what I received was amazing.

The first time that I really needed, I almost felt bad to ask God for his help. After all, I would consider myself a strong willed woman and I have been able to get through a lot of things in life but my thinking is all wrong. I am not strong. God has given me his strength. When I didn't know if I could handle the situation I was going into, I knew I needed some extra reinforcements.

The strength of God was like this for me. I was solid as a rock with no wavering or erratic emotions.(for any woman this is pretty amazing) My thought were concise and my tone was confident. I was so calm and sure in what I was saying and doing that there was no doubt. After it was over, I just thought "Did that just happen? Who was I?"

I have to believe that when we are at true peace with God and we fully give everything over to him and ask for his strength, the Holy Spirit is within us. I've only felt this for short periods of time, but it is like a feeling one can barely describe.

Next time you feel that you don't have the strength, patience or energy to go through a difficult situation. Ask for the strength of God...he is just waiting to meet you there.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Leaving a dream...

I believe a good book makes you question who you are and where your life is going. I also believe that when a book asks you questions, you should actually take the time to think about the answers. About 6 months ago I started reading the book, "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" by Lysa Terkeurst. This is a fantastic book that talks about leaving the dream you have behind to make room for the dreams God as for you. All of Lysa's books talk right to my heart.

Page 30 and I had to put it down. I honestly wasn't ready to let go of my dream at that point in time. My dream was so good and so well thought out!! I just KNEW it was going to come together and I thought that God surely had his hand in this current dream.

Over the next few months...I watched my dream slowly fall apart. Jobs disappeared. Plans fell apart. People were not who I thought they were and my heart was broken. Everything I was so sure about was gone. Throughout this time I still felt God's comfort and assurance. "Michelle, I have something better than you could have dreamed, just wait."

I had been looking for Lysa's book over the past few weeks because I felt "ready" to continue reading it. I have begun to feel at peace about leaving that dream...or should I say, it left me. Cleaning out my backseat yesterday, which oddly holds many random missing items, I found the book. I was almost a little nervous to start reading again, last time I read this book I lost my dream. What could be next?

Sometimes, God gives us a little glimpse of what the future holds and let me tell you...I think I am in for a serious adventure. God knows me and my heart better than anyone, so it makes sense that he would prepare a dream for me that will be perfect.

I open the book this morning, page 31, Chapter Title, "God has a plan" I think that is a good sign. :o)

I promise to keep you updated on this "new dream" because I think it will be worth reading about.

Great Verses for this topic:

Ephesians 3 20-21
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask for imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Jeremiah 29 11-13
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Go to www.lysaterkeurst.com to read about her other books. I have heard this women speak and I am on my 3rd book that she has written. She is a true, honest, real, Christian woman and I am a huge fan of her writing and speaking.

the dollar bill offering

Something happened today and I have no way to explain it but I want to try.

First of all, yesterday was an amazing day with my husband. It was the kind of day that made me forget about jobs, paychecks, bills, emptiness, sadness, fear and anxiety. It was the kind of day that you hold your breathe hoping that it will never end. It may have been the best day in the past 2 or 3 years.

I was still on cloud 9 from the day before and church just felt so good today. The women singing sounded beautiful, it was a full house due to baby baptisms and all the great parts were there. One of my favorite songs, "The One Who Saves" was just starting during the offering time. I think it was this song but it was a bit of a blur.

We have been on hard financial times for the past 3 years but right now is the toughest spot we have been in. No matter what is happening, we always gave something at church. Some days it was $5 and some days it was the change in the bottom of my purse. Today was going to be a change kind of day and that thought was in my head when getting in the car. I had never done this before but I asked my husband, "Since we don't have any cash, let's bring in a few quarters" He responded with, "I have a dollar bill" and that was the end of the discussion.

Back to church. The music starts and he pulls out his wallet, takes the $1.00 bill and puts it in my hand. I don't know what happened but I was flooded with emotion. My first thought that ran through my head was "Lord, I would give it all" After that, the tears started flowing. Now, I am not one to cry in church on a regular basis so this was definitely out of the ordinary for me. I didn't even know why I was crying. I have plenty of reasons to cry and worry but this was a different cry. One that I haven't experienced before.

I know my God is faithful and I know He has carried us to this point and will continue to walk with us step by step. These are the only truths that I can get from this weekend..

1) My marriage is full...overflowing, exploding with love for each other and faith in our Lord.
2) God is right here, next to me. He is real and I can feel him.

Here is the song...maybe it will bless you like it did me today

This isn’t what I expected...not even close

It is June, the season of graduations! That was at least a few years ago for me but I find myself still getting a little excited as the buzz is in the air. I can’t help but think back to high school and college graduation and think, “I was CLUELESS!”   but somedays I’d love to go back to that state of dreaming and imagining what life would be like down the road. Since we can’t go back, my next thought is “this isn’t what I expected.” Are you where you thought you would be? Are you still close to those friends that you thought would be there forever? Is having a real job as fulfilling as you dreamed it would be? When I ask these questions my answers are no. Maybe I was naive or just a small town girl with big city dreams but I thought it was supposed to be a bit more glamorous?

As women, we like to plan just about everything. I like to know where I will be, who will be there and what will be happening... and when. This is definitely not the case because the only one who knows our steps is God himself. The older I get the more I am learning to rest of God’s plan for me because I am tired of planning, dreaming and being disappointed. I love the saying that God has 3 answers to prayers....yes, not yet or I have something much better in mind. Aren’t those exciting answers? I may not be where I thought I would be but that doesn’t mean I don’t like where I am. It is our choice as young women to look at our situation threw God’s eyes. We should praise Him for where we are and where we will be! I can plan all I want but His ways are perfect!

Now is when we make the choice to move from disappointment to trusting in the dream God has for you. A dream that you may have not even dreamed because it is WAY better than you would have imagined. Now, are you starting to feel that “graduation” excitement again? Ok, I know there aren’t cash gifts or a big party involved this time but there is so much more. I life of God sized dreams for girls like us. Cue the pomp and circumstance, grab some cake and celebrate!


Ephesians 3 20-21
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

2 Samuel 22:31 
This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

If you want to read more about leaving your dream to pursue God’s dream for you, read What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa Terkeurst  (http://www.lysaterkeurst.com/)  


Clearing our plates...

I am sad to see how long it has been since I have posted on my blog! I feel like September was yesterday and May is tomorrow! So many things happening in my life and SO MANY lessons God is teaching me daily.

In the past few months my husband and I decided to put our whole lives in God's hands. We are talking about finances, jobs, starting a family, health, family relationships and our dreams. Within a month of making this promise to God...we lost $18,000 of annual income equally 2 part-time jobs, a new job offer fell through, relationships were tested and a dream died. Most people would look at that and wonder what God was doing...but from the beginning we both believed that God was "clearing our plate" for bigger things to come.

God knew that we would never give up jobs that we believed we desperately needed or give up on a dream that I thought He placed in my heart. He is clearing my plate...so I am thankful and excited for what is next time come. Lord, continue to empty me...