Do you ever feel like you are standing still? In your life? In your career? I don't like waiting...not in the grocery store line, for a webpage to load or even the light to turn green. We live in a "I need it now" society. God doesn't go by the rules of our society. Waiting is something that we may see as useless...down time...good thing I have facebook on my phone...wasted. For God...the time that we are waiting is precious.
There are days when I can't believe my husband has been looking for full-time work for over a year...that is a long time to wait. Even longer when I have been working 3-4 jobs at a time during the past year to keep us afloat. But waiting is something that God does not waste and the time that we wait has such a great purpose that we cannot see. In the past year my marriage, my faith, family relationships and lessons learned could be the topics of 100 blog posts. Those things were totally worth the wait but during the trails it felt almost too much to bare.
Honestly, I tell God that I am tired from waiting. I express my concerns, stresses and sadness. I used to feel bad about this because I am so blessed in my life that I really shouldn't complain about anything! But God knows my heart and knows what breaks it. One day on a ride home from work...my thoughts were running wild with doubts about being able to pay our next months bills. I caught myself forgetting about His promise to provide. I worked really hard to hold back the tears...till I could feel God's arms around me and the simple message. "It's ok to cry Michelle, I am hurting with you" It was permission to be upset, sad, worried and honest about how I was feeling. I let it all out that day and promised to not "keep it in" anymore. God is my God and he knows me better than anyone else. Would you hide your true feelings from your best friend? your Mom? your husband? Then why would I try to hide them from the One who made me.
There are many ways to give praise...in my times of "waiting" some days I can lift up pure joy to my Jesus...other days I can offer my tears of sadness and fear as an offering of honesty and trust that He will carry me through anything.
Lord, I hand over to you my good days and my bad. My happiness and my pain. You are always in control and I ask You to use my "wait" as You see fit to prepare me and mold me into the person You made me to be.
2 Samuel 22:31
This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
One of my favorite songs to get through the times of waiting is
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