A year ago I went to a conference for Christian women who want to be writers, speakers and leaders in ministry. Go to www.shespeaksconference.com to learn more about this conference. While I was there, I felt like this was where I was always supposed to be! It felt like home but there was an elephant in the room. It became very clear to me that I was using things in my life to replace what I should have been getting from God. Feelings of love, comfort, hope and happiness.
Liquor was just one of the things I was using to "get life" from. When I say "get life" I mean that when I was feeling something uncomfortable, I would have a glass of wine and feel better. When I was angry, I would have a drink. When I was sad, I would have a drink. When I wanted to be carefree and forget our troubles: I would have a drink. (You can see how I was heading in a dangerous direction)
It was usually only one drink, so getting drunk wasn't the after effect. It was a mental dependency on it that I saw to be an issue.
On the flight home from the conference I promised to myself that I wanted to feel that close to God as much as possible which means eliminating the things I put in his place. All the crutches that I used to make it through this life, alcohol being one of them. I got home that night from the conference, sat down with my husband, apologized and shared a lot of things I had been holding onto for a long time. This was a turning point in our marriage. I told him that I wasn't going to drink for a while....even though he did not fully understand he was supportive.
It wasn't even a week when the feelings crept in...the feelings that would usually trigger me wanted a drink. NOW I was conscious of my decisions and that was really want this was about. Instead of going for a drink and just feeling better, I prayed to get through what I was feeling. I learned to lean on my faith and not on anything else. I learned a lot over the past year.
I honestly never thought I would go an entire year but I blinked and it happened. There have only been a few times in the past year when I really wanted a drink but didn't. Most of the time it wasn't a big deal. Now that it has been a year I wonder if I should start casually having a drink. I am still not sure and I guess I don't need to know either.
What I have been amazed by is the response when people hear that I haven't had a drink in a year. They always ask "why?" and my challenge has been to tell them the truth and shine God's light. I gave something up that was giving me life so I was forced to get it from the only one who can give life. It doesn't matter if it is a drink, smoking a cigarette, eating a candy bar or buying a new pair of shoes. If you are looking for emotional satisfaction from any item in this world, you are not letting God give you what he can offer.
This is not a Public Service Announcement but more of an awareness. Think about what you do, why you do it and what you get from it. Your spiritual health depends on it.
I am going through this same process but with food as well. Currently I have lost 64 pounds...when I hit 75 pounds I will share my story about that incredible journey.
Listen to this music video by Jeremy Camp "Empty Me"
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