I Am Walking Backwards: We are not hypocrites, we're human

I have spent the past few weeks preparing to speak at the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina this weekend. As I am writing and rewriting my story and trying to inspire others to see what God can do in there life...I feel an imbalance. I want to show how strong God is but at the same time...I also need to show how weak I am.

Usually, professional speakers are asked to speak about their expertise that show an incredible list of credentials. I feel that this type of speaking, isn't the same style. I am actually planning to show my speaking group the worst picture of my entire life...maybe the least flattering picture ever taken in the history of women. You may think I am exaggerating but I'm not. It is 50x worse than the one I posted on here before. That is how I am starting my speech...literally I will say "look how bad it got" but that won't be the end of it...I also feel the need to admit that it is still hard!

Sometimes I feel like I am marketing a difficult product.

1. Trust in God for your food issues
2. Then deal with the stuff you have been eating to forget
3. It will be extremely hard and you will succeed and fail, many times
4. It is absolutely 100% worth it
5. You should listen to me because I lost 80 pounds...but Jesus shows me everyday that I still need him to help me from putting the pounds back on.

Worst commercial pitch ever, right? Maybe not. I am not a hypocrite...I am human. If I said it was easy, no one would believe me. God did a miracle in my life that changed me in every way. My relationship with Him has reached a whole new level...why would he let that relationship fade by healing me completely?

I once prayed a "scary prayer" and I call it that because it is scary to say it because it might come true. I prayed "Lord, I hope I never conquer my issues with food because those issues have brought me closer to you." I felt like I was praying to stay sick...that is scary but not as scary as falling away from Christ.

In a few days I will share my story with many women about how completely weak I am and how strong God has been in my life. Humbling myself seems like and understatement but I am willing to look weak to give the glory to my God.

God specializes in the weak and broken so I will continue to boast about my weaknesses to show his amazing power.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefor I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake. I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecution, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10