For as long as I can remember, my weight has been an issue. Since December 30th I have lost 70 pounds. Most days I still cannot believe that this has even happened but it is real. All of the credit goes to the Lord who literally led me through every single difficult step to get here. This was more than eating healthy and exercising, this was about changing the way I think, feel and act towards food. I also have to thank the amazing Lysa Terkeurst and her book Made to Crave. This book is life changing. There are a few things that weren't in the book or in any weight loss brochure that I have ever embarrassingly flipped through. These are the things that no one tells you about weight loss...
1) It is harder than anyone would ever admit.
Honesty is something I have always wanted to have as my top priority, so here it is. Truly changing the way to feel and think about food is extremely hard. There are nights when I would literally cry, because of what I wanted to eat and the struggle that was happening within myself. I cried because of where I had let myself get to and how much food had controlled my life. I cried because of the crutch that I had created and let food be in my life. I cried at how weak I had let myself become when it came to food. I mostly cried because I was dealing with issues that I had soothed by eating among many other things. It is an addiction that you have to break physically and mentally. It gets easier but it never goes away.
2)At my heaviest, I thought I looked 30 pounds lighter than I really was
At my 30 pound mark I was so excited because I imagined how incredibly different I would look. I did look different but not as drastic as I had imaged. I looked in the mirror one day (minus 30 pds) and thought, "this is how I always thought I looked." I came across my "before" picture recently....let me tell you that I was shocked. I did NOT even recognize that person. I'll write more about this in another blog and even post the picture if I can pull together the guts it would take to show the world how bad it was.
3) People don't really want to hear your answer of how you lost the weight
I get asked all the time, "How did you do it?" They want you to say, " I ate a magic pill, clicked my heels three times and then it disappeared! All for only $9.99!!!" The answer they get is very different. My answer consists of this, "I read a book that changed my life called Made to Crave which talks about craving God more than food.." At that point I get the "look" and you may know what this means...the you might be a little crazy look. But they keep listening because whatever crazy thing I was doing was working! The next thing you say seems so typical but it is the truth. I ate less and better foods and went for walks almost every day. They don't want to hear that either but it is the truth people.
4. It is 100% worth the fight
People who truly change their lives do it because the outcome is totally worth all the pain and tears. I have many many more good days than hard ones now. Situations that would really upset me before and now easier to take. The way you feel inside your own body is with you every second of everyday and then that is significantly better..EVERYTHING in life is better. Here is just a few things that I never knew how much I missed and loved before losing my weight...
-Crossing my legs when I sit
-Climbing stairs without having to catch my breathe at the top
-Shopping at the "regular" stores
-Feeling like myself...really like the outside matched what is on the inside
I want to make it clear that I have days that I stray and struggle. The difference is that I know I am straying and I know that tomorrow I will get back on track and continue this journey. I still have a while to go but I know I can get there.
I really feel that God wants me to use this journey to reach other women who struggled like I did. Women who woke up one day and looked at themselves with disbelief and shame of where they have ended up. I want to show them the unbelievable Grace and strength that God can give them to conquer this all.
When we clear our lives of distractions and unhealthy obsessions, we will find ourselves closer to God than ever before. Now THAT is the biggest reward of this whole process.
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